Two Victors and a Baby
by ClintonBush43Obama
Summary: It is after the Rebellion in Panem. There is just one problem: Katniss was never really in love with Peeta. Or so she thinks. When one mistake changes the District 12 victors' lives, will that mistake threaten to tear apart their quasi-family forever? This story takes themes from other authors fanfics like All I Know & Tender Blessings and embellishes them, probe deeper. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1: You Want Me Real or Not Real

**Chapter 1: You Want Me. Real or Not Real?**

 **Katniss**

It has been hard since the war. Feeling like I am free and yet still trapped at the same time.

It's not that I don't love Peeta. I do. Just not in the way the Capitol wanted me to. Even after the Games. Even after the Rebellion. I feel like I must stay with him because of his hijacking. He'd go mad if I was not around.

Thankfully, Peeta – good, sweet, gentle Peeta – understands. We agreed upon arriving back in District 12 that we would just be friends. And we are. Good friends. We hold each other at night as we sleep. Though we technically live in separate houses, I almost always go over to his whenever I have a nightmare. He holds me in his arms at night, but we don't dare do anything beyond that. It is nice to just have a friend, to have a warm place to sleep.

Still, I know that Peeta's heart must break to be that way with me, but undeniably want more. I know he loves me. And sometimes – sometimes, on my worst days – I feel irreversible guilt, knowing that I can't love him back.

So it is one night in his bed, Peeta spooning me from behind. It's the most intimate he has ever touched me that I will allow. He platonically rubs his hand along my shoulder to calm me from the nightmare.

That doesn't distract me from the hardness he is trying and failing to keep from pressing up against my ass. The hardness that tells me he wants me. Sexually. No matter that I have rejected his advances, no matter that I responded to them only for the Games. Poor boy. He really meant it when he said he was a goner. He will never be free of me.

I decide to force the issue.

"You want me. Real or not real?" I ask.

"Real. To be spend time with you, of course," he replies.

"No." I shift in his embrace and turn to face him. "You _want_ me. Real or not real?"

Now Peeta understands what I mean. He looks away in shame even as he mumbles, "Not real."

I do not know why this gets me angry, but I do. "Then what is this?" Before I can get a hold of myself, I brazenly seize his erection through his pajama pants. Peeta's cry out is muffled as I kiss him firmly on the mouth, closing the gap between us. I roll him over until I am now straddling him. Peeta pulls out of the kiss, and his member leaves my grasp.

"No!" he almost yells, before remembering that we don't want to wake the whole neighborhood. His voice drops to a whisper. "You don't have to do this just because you pity me. I don't want this."

"Like hell you don't," I snarl. "I know what boys want. I know what you want – I've known it all along!"

"No-" but my lips crush his once more. I fondle his penis in my hands, squeezing the balls, pumping his shaft. Peeta moans like a dying animal into my mouth, and I know his resistance is crumbling. I jimmy his mouth open with my own and batter my tongue inside. With tongue. That's how most boys like to be kissed. I breathe sharply through my nose as our lips go at it, even as I begin to strip him of his pants and boxers. It dawns on me that my forcing myself upon him could be considered rape. I don't care. He wants me? Then he probably won't refuse me, shocked as he is that I am showing him romantic affection – even in a violent way.

As soon as his member is free, all hard and big despite his fear, I go down on it. Hard. I have never had sex, but that doesn't mean I don't have urgings. And Peeta can say that I was his first. I try to cry out in pain, but my lips are still against Peeta's, so it's muffled. I bounce up and down on his cock, groaning into Peeta's mouth as I do so. The breathing through my nose is rough and ragged now. I break the kiss roughly, gasping for air as I ride him. I feel the pleasure building in my core and am just about to pull out when Peeta roughly seizes my bum and gives it a squeeze, his nails digging into the flesh. I let out an airy squeak at this rougher side of him.

"Don't start something you can't finish, Ms. Everdeen," Peeta growls.

I nearly cum right then and there. He _does_ want me! I knew it! I bury him back inside me and ride him hard, wanting this to at least be something he can remember me by. I shamelessly let ungodly noises forth. "Uhh… ummmmm….. huhhhh…."

Suddeny, Peeta flips us so that he is on top and he pounds like a piston into me, gripping the bedpost as he does. My grunts and groans turn to screams of pleasure. "Ohh… ahhhh…. Uh! Uh!" Every thrust elicits a wail from me as Peeta humps my center. He kisses me roughly, muffling my squeal as I orgasm at last. Moments later, I can feel the fluid pump into my vagina with the force of a jackhammer as Peeta empties himself inside of me. Both totally spent, our violent, angry coupling ends soft as we tenderly break our kiss at last. Seconds later, though, Peeta pulls out of me and promptly rolls off me, leaving me feeling empty.

"Fine. Thanks for that one time thing and good night! I'm going to sleep!"

Guilt wracks me as I turn away from him, facing the wall. He wanted me, and I gave him what he wanted. I fucked him. Isn't that what he wanted, even if just for one night? These thoughts haunt me as I go to sleep.

* * *

I never touch Peeta like that again. Nor does he to me. While I can tell he at least enjoyed it, he knows it was a one-time deal and that he should take what he can get.

But it only takes one time, right?

It is early one morning, several weeks after Peeta and I angrily made love in his bed. I am wearing my bathrobe still, glancing out the window, the test sitting at my feet.

One time. One damn slip of paper. And the life I thought I could lead has just been shot to hell.

I hear his heavy tread as he emerges from his shower, the tentative hand on my shoulder, cautiously asking if he's allowed to touch me. I allow it.

I hear his breath catch as he spies the slip of paper showing two lines. Two pink lines. He picks it up.

"I can't believe it. You're…."

I nod stiffly, showing zero emotion. "Yes, I am."

There's a silence before he asks. "What are we going to do?"

I finally brave myself to look at him. His face and body language is stoic, but no one can deny the hope in his eyes. I blink and move back, my hand instinctively clutching my womb.

"Oh, God, you _do_ want to have it, don't you?" I cry out. This is a rhetorical statement, not a rhetorical question. Either way, he can't deny it. "Peeta, this is not what I planned-"

"I know. For the record, neither did I. I was beginning to accept that you did not want me in that way, but now….. Please." His eyes are pleading, almost cute. "My baby is _inside_ you. Do you know how much I've dreamed of that, even when I thought it could never be? If you keep it, I'll do whatever you want. I am your humble servant to command. I'll never ask for anything again."

I huff. Damn him. Damn his….. damningly adorable way of making you want to do anything for him. Even carry a baby that you didn't even want to have. Not with him or anyone else.

"I won't make you marry me. We could live in sin; raise the child together. How's that?"

I can't help but smirk at his phraseology. Live in sin. I turn back to him, the amusement not leaving my face.

"Well, we were never very good at following the rules, now, were we?"


	2. Chapter 2: Trapped

**Chapter 2: Trapped**

 **Peeta**

Nine months later, I can tell Katniss regrets ever having decided to carry my child inside her.

She is panting and sweating and screaming bloody murder. She is holding my hand so hard, my fingers might actually dislocate at best, be completely torn off at worst. Greasy Sae is flitting about, being the midwife and Katniss's motherly figure all at once. I regret Mrs. Everdeen is not here to witness this, as much as it looks like a total shit-show right now – she and Katniss have been estranged ever since the war ended.

And Haymitch? He is nursing a bottle in one corner, sitting there stupidly and not knowing how to help or even what to do. Not that he doesn't care. He does care. He hates to see Katniss in pain like this – small wonder that he's decided to blot himself out from the rest of the world.

"Katniss?" I groan. "Stop squeezing my hand like that or I won't have a hand left!"

She throws me a vicious glare. "You'll hold my hand and you'll like it, because this is the last time you will ever get to touch me, Peeta Mellark! Do you hear me? You motherfucking piece of shit, you manipulative – ARRGHHH!"

I wince, even more so when Haymitch starts cracking up in his seat like a little kid, as if this is the funniest thing ever. I'd feel better if I didn't know that she was saying these things because she is in labor _and_ they are true. I pressured her into this, even if she was the one who up and fucked me in the first place. And she hates me for it. Maybe rightly so.

Greasy Sae announces that she can see the baby crowning. As if on cue, Haymitch decides that it's the perfect time to throw up all over the floor. Katniss lets out one last blood-curdling scream, chorused soon after by the baby's wails.

"It's a beautiful little girl!" Sae announces proudly.

"We gotsa a grandbaby! Whoopeee!" Haymitch slurs. He stands up, arms splayed wide as he tries to give Greasy Sae a hug, but he slips on a puddle of spilled liquor, falls flat on his face in his own vomit and promptly passes out.

I literally want to die.

Instead, I quietly groan and try not to let any of the women see. Greasy Sae proceeds to clean our baby. I have to be strong for Katniss, so I dare to smile and kiss her forehead.

"Katniss, it's a girl!" I feel my face wet with tears. Whether it's because we have a child or because my family is acting like the who's-who lineup of a psychiatric ward, I can't tell.

But Katniss doesn't respond. She doesn't even register when Sae finishes cleaning our baby and passes her to me. The mother of my child stares at the tiny creature we produced together, eyes glazed over, her face blank and expressionless. She finally rolls over to face away from us, staring at the window.

I know she didn't want the child to begin with, but this display of….. nothingness worries me. Greasy Sae pats my shoulder.

"Give her time. It was a very hard birth." She kisses my cheek affectionately. "Congratulations."

And she goes to rousing Haymitch and now cleaning him up as I rock my little girl to sleep.

* * *

 **Katniss**

It's been two weeks. Two weeks of hell. Two weeks of getting up at all hours of the night to attend to my baby. Even then, I'm doing God-knows-what. Oh hell, I don't even know what I'm doing!

I only try because Peeta has done more than his share and he needs his rest. He has to get up early enough as it is to go to the bakery. When he's not there, he is helping me care for our daughter.

 _Our_ daughter. I can't believe it. I'm a mother.

The cries pull me out of whatever halfway land of sleep I was in. Goddammit. I rise gently, careful not to wake Peeta and go to the nursery. By the time I get there, the baby is only whimpering.

I stare at the tiny creature in the crib. I feel nothing. Nothing for it. No motherly emotions of any kind. All I feel is soreness from where it had emerged from my body into the world. The only motherly attention I had given in my life was towards my sister. My now-dead sister. I had acted as a mother then, and I had killed her. This is exactly the reason I never wanted children in the first place! Kids were something to love only for them to become something to lose. Why did I ever let Peeta talk me into keeping it?! Doesn't he understand this world is no place for a child – not an ash heap of war?

No. All he wanted was to have a child by me.

I don't realize I'm crying until a tear falls on my sleeping baby's face. I want to wipe it away but stop. No. Everything I touch gets ruined somehow. No wonder Peeta loses his patience with me when I refuse to change her diapers or rock her. Or even when I try and fail miserably. No wonder I have to force that smile when our friends congratulate us. I am falling apart at the seams, and I don't like seeing myself like this.

I stare at the child. Poor baby. With such a sorry excuse for a mother, it would have been better off to have never been alive.

I jolt with the dawn of a new epiphany. Heart beating furiously, I stalk into the bathroom. Wash my face and see that the water has not removed the dark bags from under my eyes.

I go back to my room and quietly dress. I rifle through the dresser drawers, finding every last wad of cash Peeta and I had hidden away. I grab a random book off the bookshelf and throw it all into my hunting rucksack.

All ready, I turn back to look at Peeta. The father of our child. Sleeping so peacefully. Guilt rushes threw me like a fire and I viciously try to put it out. Peeta has loved me even when I rejected him. I have no doubt that he will love our baby and find someone better than me. He deserves it.

I dare to approach him and softly kiss his lips, lingering there a moment. He stirs, but does not wake. I look at him forlornly. "I'm so sorry, Peeta." Then, I sweep out of the room and out of the house.

It's the dead of night as I walk down to path towards the entrance to Victor's Village. As I walk away from my life, I feel that hunter's instinct. The instinct of someone watching me. When I turn, I see Haymitch observing me from a lighted window in his house. His eyes stare at me, part-accusing, part-sad.

 _You running away, sweetheart?_ he seems to be asking me silently.

I shake my head. _I'm not running._ I wait, almost willing him to try and stop me. Instead, the old man shakes his head and walks away from the window. He's disappointed. No, disgusted. But I somehow know he won't follow me.

Through the town I go, past all the houses and the Justice Building until I reach the train station. The midnight train to the Capitol will be here soon. The whistle confirms it. I sway on my feet anxiously. I would be free – free to feel, free to start over – in a few feet.

Only when I have already stepped on the train and it has pulled away do I come apart, for I realize.

I no longer feel nothing. I feel something.


	3. Chapter 3: On Our Own

**Chapter 3: On Our Own**

 **Peeta**

The morning sun and the crying from my baby wake me up.

Turning over, I see that Katniss's side of the bed is empty. _Good. Maybe she'll get her._ But the crying doesn't abate. I sit up.

"Katniss?" No answer. I check the bathroom. No one there. I return to our bedroom. She has not appeared. I go to our daughter's room. Still nothing. Maybe she's out hunting.

After I calm the daughter that Katniss and I still have to name, I wait at the kitchen table for her to return. After the sun is at high noon and Katniss has still not come back, I feel fear grip my heart.

Her bows and arrows, which I had not noticed until now, are still leaning against the hearth.

She didn't go hunting. Something is wrong.

I tear through the house just quietly enough so as not to wake the baby, checking every room, every closet, even the attic. I rack my brain. If she's not in the house, where could she have gone? I know she has been feeling depressed these last two weeks. Greasy Sae had told me to expect as much, calling it post-partum. All women go through it in some way after childbirth, some more than others. For Katniss, it had clearly been an extreme case. Not talking to me, turning away, not paying attention to our baby and doing a terrible job when she did at my insistence.

Oh no. She couldn't have….. My eyes water and I sprint to the front porch.

"KATNISS!" I cup my hands to my face as I call loud enough for probably the whole district to hear.

The non-response all but confirms the forbidden thought in my mind. The possibility of what Katniss might do if pushed too far or made more despondent.

I can't check the woods – not yet. I don't know them as well as she does even if she is in there. And I can't leave our daughter alone. I decide to try my first step and work my way up from there.

I sprint to Haymitch's house, ready to pound on the door….. but he is already on the front porch in his rocking chair, throwing back a swig of the bottle. He looks like hell.

"Haymitch! Is Katniss here? Have you seen her?"

Haymitch drunkenly waves me away. "She's gone, kid." It almost comes out as a moan.

"No, she isn't!" I deny, desperately pacing the porch. "I know she wouldn't leave the district. Maybe she was kidnapped…."

"She's GONE! Don't you get it?!" Haymitch roars, throwing the bottle with all his might until it shatters on the cobblestones down the path. He shoots me a scowl, but his eyes are dead. "She. LEFT. I saw her walk out last night."

"You're telling me this now?!" I shriek. I want to shake him, hit him. "Why didn't you stop her?!"

"She wouldn't have let me even if I tried."

"We've got to go after her, then!"

"Oh, and who's going to do that, huh? You or me? Both of us? What about the baby?"

 _The baby…._ My eyes fill with tears and I collapse to the porch, curled up in a ball as I bury my face in my knees. "She left….. the baby….. she's gone…."

"Hate to break it to you, kid. But Katniss was gone long before she up and left. We're on our own." I suddenly hear him laugh. I look up, wondering how this could possibly be funny. Haymitch takes no notice, giggling like the drunken fool that he is, so much that it leaves me disturbed.

"We're on our own," he cackles. "Just a drunk, a baker and a baby. No big deal. Two former victors with a child and we don't know _what_ the fuck we're doing!" He howls with maniacal glee. Shaken, I back away before running to my house.

* * *

 **Haymitch**

I know I shouldn't have scared the boy off like that. I just didn't know how else to cope.

I ordered Peeta to stay with the baby. Once I sobered up, I proceeded to make phone calls to everyone I knew who had a remote connection to Katniss. All turned up nothing.

By now, night is beginning to fall and I hustle back to Peeta's house. I see him by the fire feeding the child as I open the door. His head snaps to attention.

"Anything?"

I shake my head, defeated. "Nothing. I went through everyone. Her mother. Annie. Effie. Beetee. Johanna. Hell, I even tried Gale! No one's seen her."

Peeta slowly rises to his feet, still holding the child. "I have to go after her, then."

I throw out an arm to block his path and push him back. "You walk out this door, you die at my hands. You understand me? You can't leave her, too. She is weeks old. _Weeks_! You might never find Katniss and come back to find both me and the kid dead. Is that what you want?"

"You don't know that, Haymitch. I could leave her with you, if I'm not gone long. I could go to the President; she could send out a search party….."

"Do you even hear yourself? Katniss left because she _doesn't want to be found_." I gently place my hands on his shoulders. "Peeta, I'm sorry. I want Katniss to be found too, but for right now, we have to assume that she isn't coming back."

"But I _need_ her." Tears are spilling down his cheeks now. "I need Katniss to be here with me. What if I have a flashback when I'm alone with the baby?"

"Then you come get me, or get your ass into a safe place like your room until it passes. But leaving her is not an option. _Ever_." I emphasize that point clearly.

"What about Katniss?"

"Forget about Katniss." I shrug helplessly even as he blinks in shock at my harshness. "You move on. If you think that she ever wanted this baby at all, whether you convinced her to have it or not, then you're a sap. We both have been around Katniss long enough to know that she is stubborn, and very rarely have we ever said anything to make her change her mind about something. We cannot hold out false hope that staying with her daughter will be the exception to the rule."

Peeta nods, resigned to our fate. "Then, at least promise me, Haymitch. Protect the baby from me. If I….. turn into a monster." That's code for his having an episode. Still, I feel the need to point out.

"You are _not_ a monster, Peeta. If you were, you would have left same as Katniss and pretty much sentenced this child and me to death. The difference between you and your baby's mother is that you care. Sometimes more than for your own good. But, that's irrelevant. As far as I'm concerned, Katniss is dead to me and _I_ will watch over the girl."

Peeta nods. "She doesn't even have a name. I was going to let Katniss name her, to try and get her to be more involved."

"Well, in her absence, can I suggest a name?" I venture, half-raising my hand as though I'm in a classroom. "Sierra."

Peeta wrinkles his nose. "Why does that sound familiar?"

"It was Katniss's middle name. You, of all people, should remember that! Gone or not, the kid should at least have something of her mother to remember her by."

Peeta ponders it. "I like that." He looks down at his baby tenderly. "Sierra Primrose Mellark it is."

I nod in approval.


	4. Chapter 4: Two Idiots and a Baby

**Chapter 4: Two Idiots and a Baby**

 **Haymitch**

I should have just up and shot myself when I had the chance. There, I said it. I should have killed myself.

If I ever thought that my duty as surrogate grandfather would be just protecting Sierra from hijacked Peeta or coming over for visits, I had another thing coming. The boy is about as hopeless as I am.

Welp, at least we can be hopeless together.

The first year was the most difficult. Hardee-har, that's what everyone says. Night after night being woken up by wails from one house over, then Peeta banging on the door. Night after night feeding the baby warmed breast milk imported from the Capitol. Day after day of babysitting and burping and changing and baby-proofing a house that I now practically live in myself.

Oh, and almost no alcohol is allowed. I can only drink when I'm at my house, and only in small amounts in case Peeta needs me.

Day after day of entertaining a little girl who is about as picky as her non-existent mother about what she likes.

Did I mention no alcohol?

On this particular day, Peeta and I are getting ready to take Sierra for her first day to the park. Katniss has been gone for just over a year. Peeta barely managed to dress the wailing brat and is now trying to wrestle her into the stroller that I'm still trying to finish assembling. Even as he does this, he is balancing the manual in one hand and reading off directions.

"OK, now you just need to pinch the strap over the structure at the base." I stare at the parts before me, confused, but Peeta isn't paying attention as he tries to strap Sierra in. "Haymitch, pinch the strap…."

"PINCH WHAT? Strap A or Strap B?!" I yell in frustration. I grab the paper from him. This manual looks as though Beetee wrote it. Which is to say, it looks like it's in Greek.

"Now just calm down, sweetie…." Peeta coos to his daughter. He glances back to me. "Oh for crying out loud, Haymitch, you have it upside down! It's Strap A!" He flips the manual right-side up, and I quickly do the last bit of the assembly. I then seize the binky from my pocket and slap it into Sierra's mouth.

I sigh in relief. How have we lasted this long?

* * *

 **Johanna**

I am off the train and onto the District 12 platform before the train has even slowed to a stop. I power-walk up to where I know Victor's Village is located. Out of all the ring of houses, I can tell immediately which one is Peeta's. Only three houses look as though they have been lived in, with one looking abandoned and the other looking like a bomb went off in it. Good old process of elimination.

I rap on the door. No answer, so I just push myself in.

I walk into the living room. Oh God. I wish I had a camera.

Lover Boy and Pops are sprawled on the couch, arms around each other. The little baby – Sierra, is that her name? – is snoozing on top of their sleeping bodies. Haymitch is even snoring loudly, but suddenly grunts as he awakens, also waking Peeta. They sleepily look at me.

I sigh, but can't resist a smirk. "You two look like hell."

Peeta groggily stands, cradling Sierra. "Johanna!" he yawns. We hug. "When did you get here?"

"Just now," I disentangle myself to punch Haymitch on the arm and circle back into the kitchen, the boys following me. "I have news."

Peeta now looks as though someone gave him a shot of caffeine. "About Katniss? Where is she?"

I hold up a hand to silence him, ignoring Haymitch giving the boy a hopeless look. "I don't know exactly where she is. But a friend of a friend told me she was sighted in the Capitol."

Haymitch throws up his hands. "So, what is she now? A fugitive of the law? Sightings aren't good enough, Johanna!" Incredibly, he begins to break down. Now I _really_ wish I had a camera. "Please. You don't understand. We've been at this for a year and are barely hanging on!"

"Calm down, Pops. The kid at least looks healthy; that should tell you something. Katniss may or may not be in the Capitol, but even if she is, we wouldn't know where to start looking anyway. It's a giant city. We don't know where in the Capitol she's living now. Whatever she's up to, she's keeping a very low profile."

Peeta looks crestfallen, so I raise his chin with my finger. "Hey. Don't take it to heart. I'm mad as hell at her too, but when I see how well you guys are doing with Sierra, I have to wonder, _Who needs her mother_? You guys are still learning, but you are getting better. And you'll continue to get better. Trust me." I kiss his cheek and then plant another kiss on Sierra's forehead. I hug Haymitch. "I have to get back. They're expecting me in the lumber yards for harvest time."

As I'm heading for the door, Peeta calls out, "Johanna!" I turn. "This….. friend. Who saw Katniss. Did she say how she looked?"

I bite my lip, wondering if Peeta should hear this. "By all accounts, Katniss looked….. happy."

I sweep out the door before I get to see the look on Peeta's face.

* * *

 **Haymitch**

I don't know why Johanna's last comment bothers me, but it does. It gnaws at me until I can barely see straight. Katniss happy? Without her family? Without her _child_? How dare she! How dare she be happy!

My anger consumes me until I come to a crazy decision. I have to find her. I am _going_ to find her. One way or another, I will find Katniss, even if I have to tear down the Capitol to do it.

The immediate objection – _What about Peeta and Sierra?_ – gives me surprisingly little cause for concern. Yes, I have had to protect the girl from her father when he is hijacked, but the episodes have become less and less frequent. Even if he has one, I know Greasy Sae will look after them.

The only trouble is that I have not told Peeta my plan.

Oh, and apparently we have no spare cash lying around.

The day I am preparing to leave, I am up in my guest room in Peeta's house. I quietly load my Glock .45 pistol and then slam the chamber shut and cock it. I slip my knife into my belt strap. Then, I look around for some change for the train ticket.

"Peeta?" I call as casually as I can. "Do we have any cash?"

"No, I have to get some at the ATM. Why?" he calls back from downstairs where he is feeding Sierra breakfast.

"I think…. we're out of bread," I bullshit lamely. OK, that was a terrible answer. Peeta _bakes_ bread. For a living. How could we possibly run out of bread? I close my eyes, praying that he doesn't check the refrigerator.

"…..You're not trying to sneak down to Rooba for more liquor, are you?"

"…..No." I pause deliberately, knowing this will be a good cover for my real intentions, before heading downstairs. Peeta eyes me harshly until he sighs.

"Like I said, we're out of cash, but if you really are on that much of a withdrawal, I can at least have you barter Rooba with _something_. A couple of baguettes should do it." He pulls them out of the freezer and tosses them to me. " But answer me this: What am I supposed to do if I have an episode while you're gone?"

"That's what I'm here for!" an elderly voice croaks as the front door opens. Greasy Sae has arrived.

I weakly smile under Peeta's glare. "Surprise?"

"I hate you."

I give him a placating side-hug. "I'll be right back," I lie. "Thanks, Sae!" And I'm gone.

* * *

I wasn't about to try and steal Peeta's credit card to get money out of the ATM. That would have been too hard.

So, with only a couple of baguettes and no cash, I can't just board a train for the Capitol. I have to cheat my way on.

I wait on the platform in the pouring rain, fedora on my head and trenchcoat pulled way up so no one will recognize me. The bread is under my coat. Probably for a snack…. if I can sneak on board. But the station managers sweeping the platform are tough. They always check for tickets before letting anyone on.

The train whistle sounds and the steamer pulls in. My mind whirls. If only I had a distraction….

As if on cue, an old lady falls with her bags to the platform. The station managers rush to her aid and the crowd looks in her direction even as they flock to the cars. In the confusion, I seize my chance and slip onto the caboose, sliding unnoticed into the very last car. I take a seat and grab a newspaper from the seat pocket in front of me, holding it up to my face. That was easy as pie.

Moments later, the train whistle sounds as it pulls out of District 12, bound for the Capitol.

* * *

The train journeys on through the night and into the next day, through an endless rain. Finally, I can squint through the windows and see the glistening buildings of the Capitol.

I can also see conductors going through the train car ahead of mine, making sure everyone has their proper passports and tickets before letting them disembark. I can't let them catch me. A freeloader is one thing. A former Hunger Games victor/celebrity is quite another.

Replacing the newspaper, I pull my fedora and trenchcoat around me. Checking that no one is watching, I slip out of my seat and onto the rear platform of the caboose. Wind and rain whip at my face and I see we are passing over the bridge above the main river and dam. I take a deep breath. The bridge is low, so the drop won't be that bad. I'm wet anyway. As the conductors are approaching the last car, I jump off the moving train without a second thought, hitting the water below hard. I shrug off the coat to swim better, but keep a grip on it. I finally emerge on the concrete spillway of the dam, climbing my way up the structure until I reach the city streets.

Putting my sopping wet coat back on, I slip out of the alley connecting to the dam and disappear into the crowd.

The search does not go well at first.

I spend most of the day just wandering around, searching at any of the faces to see if I spy Katniss. I begin to despair. Why did I ever think it was a good idea to leave my family? Peeta and Sierra must think I abandoned them, too. And for what? Revenge? I don't even have any money to honestly take the train back; I doubt I'd get lucky and be able to sneak on a second time.

I slide down the window of a nearby restaurant, ready to throw in the towel. Then I glance up.

It's _her_.

Katniss is huddled under an umbrella with two other women, hustling into the restaurant I'm leaning against. My feet slip on the pavement as I struggle to stand. I scoot over to the wall and peer into the window. A waiter is seating them at a table close enough for me to get a good look at her.

She looks beautiful. Filled out, healthy. And laughing, having a good time with her friends. I snarl. That bitch! Does she have any idea how good she has it, leaving her mentor, her child and the child's father behind to fend for themselves? I pull my head away before they become aware they are being watched.

The sound of a door opening makes me turn around. Just off to my other side is an alley, leading to the back door of the restaurant. A waiter has come out to dispose of some garbage. Before a plan has fully formed in my head, my arena instincts take over. I attack the poor guy, beating him into unconsciousness. Then I strip him of his clothes and change into them, replacing my clothes on his body to come back for later. And so he doesn't freeze. In the tuxedo, I look just like any other employee. In another life, I might have worn something like this to Katniss and Peeta's wedding, maybe as Best Man. I scoff. As if that's ever going to happen.

"Still," I grumble as I straighten the black bowtie, "maybe one day I can wear this to a party I was actually invited to."

Keeping the fedora on to hide my hair, I feel disguised enough and slip into the back kitchens. No one suspects me. I spy a platter of wine with a note labeled EVERDEEN on it and grab it, whisking out into the restaurant. I smirk. Won't she be surprised!

I approach the table where Katniss and her two friends are.

"And then, he was talking about how much he liked my pearls…." I overhear Katniss saying. I frown. Katniss gossiping like a girly-girl? What has happened to her? I clear my throat.

"Three glasses of bourbon for a Ms. Everdeen?" I drawl on the last word. Katniss turns to me with a smile.

And then it is gone. Her face drains of color. ' _Haymitch_ ' she mouths.

I give her a sardonic smile. "Hello, sweetheart."

Katniss seems to have lost the ability to speak. I continue to play my part as I dole out the drinks to her friends, who are now looking between her and me, concerned.

"Katniss, honey, are you alright? You look as though you've seen a ghost."

"Enjoy," I smirk smugly before whisking to the front of the restaurant. Time for Phase 2. I approach the maître'd. "Would you kindly tell Miss Everdeen at Table 6 that a guest has arrived to see her?"

"Very good, sir," the maître'd replies, taking down the note without even looking up to verify. I resist the urge to snort. Idiot. Security here sucks. I slip into the restroom and at least remove my blazer and fedora so as to appear different and then return to the entryway. Nobody recognizes me. All I have to do now is wait.

* * *

Five minutes later, Katniss appears in the entryway and stalks over to me.

"What the….?"

"Not here," I hiss. I grab her arm and drag her through the restaurant, through the kitchens and into the alleyway. She yanks out of my grip.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here?" she demands fiercely.

"First of all, your taste in liquor sucks, sweetheart. Bourbon? Really? Second, as to what I am doing here, I could ask you the same question."

She scowls in that way I always remember. How I've missed that scowl. "Where's Peeta?"

"In Twelve, _with your daughter_."

"Did he put you up to this?"

"No, I came alone. He has no idea."

"What do you want?"

I take a dangerous step towards her. "I want to know why you walked out. I want to know why it has been over a year since you last had any contact with your _goddamn_ family whatsoever!" I end screaming at her in rage.

She stomps her foot. "You know why I left!" she screeches. "You know I was depressed! That I couldn't do anything right! It wouldn't have been fair to Peeta if I stayed. Or you! Or the baby!"

"Oh, really? So your solution was to throw us all to the wind – including Sierra?" I snap.

Katniss stops and blinks. "What?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," I apologize sarcastically. "I forgot to tell you that is the name of the daughter that you have practically never known! Peeta had to name her, and he had the _fucking_ decency to think to give his child the middle name of its mother! And he named her after Prim, too!"

Katniss seems to be listening for the first time. Even in the rain, I see her eyes prick with tears. "He did?"

I nod gruffly. "Sierra Primrose Mellark."

Katniss comes close and takes my hands in hers. "Is she pretty?"

I gawk, thrown by the random question. Why does she suddenly care? "She's beautiful, she's….." I pause, remembering something. Awkwardly, I fumble in the trench coat now wrapped over the still unconscious waiter. I finally pull a photograph out of the pocket and hold it out to her. "This is her."

It's a picture from about a month and a half earlier, on Sierra's first birthday. Peeta baked a beautiful cake and the three of us spent the whole day celebrating. In it, Sierra has her mouth covered in cake, Peeta and I flanking her and smiling our lily-white butts off.

A choked sob makes me look up from the pavement. Katniss has a hand to her mouth and is practically gagging on tears. Real tears pour down her cheeks, mixing with the rain droplets.

I am agog. Aghast. She _does_ feel something for the little girl in that photo.

"Katniss," and my voice is gentle. "I won't lie to you and say it hasn't been hard without you. It has. It has also been fun at times, even. But it would be even more fun if you came home." I take a step towards her. "Come home. We miss you."

Katniss shakes her head vigorously, crying. "I…. I can't. She'll hate me. Peeta will hate me. I won't know what to do!"

"We'll teach you," and I find myself smiling. "We can be a family."

"Katniss!" I wheel around to see Katniss's two friends charging into the alleyway. The darker-skinned girl looks suspicious. "This guy bothering you?"

"No!" Katniss moves forward to protect me. "He's… he's my friend." She looks at her friends and then back to me. "Haymitch…. I'm sorry. I…. I want to come home, but…. I'm not ready."

I stiffen. "Will you be ready?"

"Yes." And I'm surprised at how quickly she answers. "Someday. Can you understand?"

Slowly, I nod. I press the photo into her hand. "Keep it. We have plenty of others at home." I want her to have a reminder so that she feels compelled to return. She can't just forget. Not again.

Katniss gives me a nod of thanks. "Do you have enough money for the train ride back?"

I smirk. "I didn't for the way over here; I had to sneak on at the Twelve station."

Katniss digs into her purse and presses some coins into my hand. "This should get you back," she says softly. I nod solemnly and turn to change back into my other clothes and get the waiter out of the rain.

"Haymitch!" I look up and am almost knocked over as Katniss hugs me. "My Capitol friends don't know about the baby. No one does. Remember how Peeta and I decided to keep the pregnancy a secret between us and the other victors?" I nod. "I won't say anything; you should be safe from the press." She pulls away. "Oh. And this is for them." She kisses me twice on the cheek: I presume it's one for Peeta and one for Sierra.

Then, she turns away and scampers back to her friends. They huddle around her and I hear the black girl gossip to her, "Haymitch? As in _Haymitch Abernathy_?"

I can't help but chuckle. Some things never change.


	5. Chapter 5: School Begins

**Chapter 5: School Begins**

 **Peeta**

I was rightfully angry at Haymitch for lying to me. Sierra had been wailing for her grandfather all that night when he didn't come home. I had to call the Peacekeepers and file a missing persons report. Unfortunately, that also meant Haymitch was arrested immediately after getting off the train in Twelve and thrown into the jailhouse, charged with not paying for a train ticket. Greasy Sae and I had to bail him out. And also pay the fine for the ticket Haymitch never bought. Ouch.

But my anger dissipated slightly when Haymitch told me why he skipped town. "I saw her. Peeta, I saw Katniss."

"Is she all right?" I asked stiffly.

"She's fine. She misses you. I can tell. I gave her a picture of Sierra."

I try not to look too hopeful even when he tells me Katniss might come home soon.

That turns out not to be true. Three more years go by. No return from Katniss. However, she does send a small birthday gift to Sierra each year on her birthday, without fail. For Haymitch, though, this isn't good enough. Sometimes when he's in a drunken stupor, I can hear him muttering to himself. "She promised me. She promised me she would come back….."

Nevertheless, the three of us move on together. As Sierra grows, I can see she is the perfect blend of Katniss and me. Her hair color. My blue eyes. A button nose, dimpled cheeks and rather large front teeth.

She's beautiful. It only makes me fall in love with her more.

So it's hard when Haymitch and I have to enroll her in kindergarten. I wanted to wait another year, but Haymitch said she was mature enough to go at age four. The first few trips to the school are hard at first for us to say goodbye to her, but we eventually fall into a routine. I hate waiting, though. I busy myself with baking, Haymitch drinking and raising his geese, until we can pick Sierra up at 3:00. It's our favorite part of the day. My daughter entertains us all the way home, babbling about her day. Anything she doesn't get around to telling us, she saves for dinner.

So it is one evening with the three of us at the kitchen table. I swallow the baked ziti we are eating and turn to my little girl.

"So, Sierra, you said you had something else you wanted to tell Grandpa and I about school?"

She brightens immediately. "Oh, yes. Mrs. Eckenrode taught us about pre-Panem history after recess."

Haymitch and I smile. It's amazing how much she knows and understands at only four years old. "What did you learn?" I press, cutting with my fork.

"We learned about the country that was here before Panem, and it's leaders. The…. Presidents of the….. United States of…. America." She sounds it out slowly, frowning as she tries to remember.

Haymitch grins over the rim of his glass at her. "Wow! That's a mouthful, little darling!"

Sierra grins at her pet name. "The United States of America was a dem….democracy." Again with the sounding out.

"Just as we are now," I grin. "A democracy is where the people elect their government's leaders. We elected President Paylor. How many of these Presidents were there, Sierra?"

"45!" Sierra emphasizes, apparently amazed. "Do you know how _big_ a number that is, Daddy?"

I smile. "It's pretty big. What happened to the United States? Did your teacher tell you?" I try not to notice that Haymitch has gone strangely quiet. Why, I don't know.

Sierra frowns as she tries to remember. "Once upon a time, the United States elected their last President. His name was Donald Trump. He was a very mean man. He made the United States so it wasn't a democracy anymore. He hated freedom. He gave all the money to his supporters and they lived in the big city with him. People did not like him and they protested." She smiles. "The End."

"What a story!" I say, though I feel uneasy as to why I have never heard it before. Katniss and I never learned about what existed before Panem when we were in school.

I'm distracted by Sierra's yawn and I carry her up to bed and kiss her goodnight. Haymitch is still downstairs when I rejoin him.

"That girl is quite the talker! She's going to know so much more than her mother and I ever did!" I blink at him. "Are you OK?"

Haymitch nods and turns to me. "That's not the whole story, you know. About the States."

I stare. How does Haymitch know about the United States? He continues:

"My grandfather lived in Panem when it still _was_ the United States. I remember him telling us about Trump when I was a little boy."

I sit, intrigued. "What happened?"

"The people rebelled against the leaders of the two political parties at the time. One party nominated Donald Trump. His supporters were mostly white, uneducated people who resented other people who weren't like them – minorities and such. They resented that a black man was President at the time and hated the establishment. Trump beat a woman nominated by the other party. She was a part of the establishment. When he came to power, he led his supporters to take over the nation's capital, Washington, D.C. They kicked all the smart people out. Anybody who protested was beaten up. It became the Capitol we know and love today."

I gasp. "Is that why all the Capitol citizens are so vapid, so stupid and superficial? Why they all look the same? Why they enjoyed the violence of the Games?"

Haymitch nods. "Exactly. They got their love of violence from beating up protesters at Trump's campaign rallies. The protests against them were the ripples that would eventually turn into the Dark Days."

"So, what happened to Trump?"

Haymitch smirks. "Here's the good news: the way my grandpa told it, Trump was an asshole. But he was also incredibly insecure and as dumb as a post besides. Snow was actually in his cabinet and held a lot of influence over him. Trump trusted him more and more with the functioning of the government. Then, when the time was right- " He slaps the table. "Snow poisoned Trump in the middle of his fourth year in office. Snow took over. He split the 50 different states into the 12 Districts and gave birth to Panem, an authoritarian regime. The old opponents of Trump became the first rebels and began the protests that led to the Dark Days."

I stare. The story is chilling and I cannot believe that I have never heard it before. This Trump guy was the real one who started Panem down its path. He just didn't have Snow's imagination on how to finish the job.

Haymitch takes a swig of his bottle. "Why don't you get some sleep, Peeta? It's late."

I nod and flop into bed, thinking of protests and violence and dumb Capitol citizenry.

* * *

 **Haymitch**

I knew that one day Sierra would ask about her mama. I just didn't expect it to be when she was merely five years old.

It happened when my first grade-aged granddaughter asked her father why she didn't have a mommy like her classmates did. Peeta stumbles on the question, obviously not expecting it. I step in.

"Well, little darling, your mommy is…."

"Did she die?"

My eyes widen. "No, no!" I paused. "She…. left."

Sierra stares. "My mommy…. left me?" I give an almost imperceptible nod. Peeta is shooting daggers at me, but what was I supposed to do? Lie?

"Why did she leave, Daddy?"

Peeta sighs as he turns away from the bread he is baking in our kitchen. "She really struggled after giving birth to you, sweetie. She just….."

Sierra's eyes are rapidly filling with tears. "She didn't want me?"

Peeta opens his mouth and closes it like a fish, trying and failing to find an answer to his daughter's rather perceptive question. His silence tells Sierra all she needs to know. She begins to weep. "My mommy didn't love me! She left me!" Then, she gets angry. It is eerie how much she acts like Katniss when she is mad. "And you let her go! You didn't tell her to come back!"

Peeta is starting to cry himself, falling to his knees at his child's feet as he tries to do damage control, but it is too late. "I tried to get her to stay. Baby, I tried. You don't think I wanted her to stay too? _She was everything to me!_ " The last comes out as an almost enraged growl, but not at Sierra. At himself. Still, she struggles in his grasp.

"You didn't even try to get her to stay! I wish Mama was here instead of _you_!" She shoves him hard and runs, sobbing, up the stairs to her room.

"Sierra? SIERRA PRIMROSE!" Peeta yells after her, but she does not respond. Angry, he throws a tea towel onto the counter and then grips the back of the nearest chair. Oh no. He's having a flashback.

"Haymitch," my protégé orders through gritted teeth. "Go protect her from me!"

I run up the stairs and into Sierra's room. I slam the door and lock it. Weeping, Sierra buries herself into my arms and we hold each other, listening to the pounding and screaming of the raging hijacked version of her father below.

* * *

Sierra fell asleep while Peeta was still having his episode. Once the noises from downstairs fade away, I place her in bed and kiss her goodnight. Then, I cautiously slip downstairs, my knife at the ready, just in case.

For someone who sounded like he was tearing the kitchen apart earlier, the place is surprisingly well-kept. Peeta must have cleaned up afterwards. I find him in the easy chair in the living room, a roaring fire going. One hand rests on his temple as he stares into the flames, the firelight dancing in his blue eyes. He's back.

"Am I good father, Haymitch?" His voice is ragged and tired. I take a step forward, not knowing what to say at first. I can only speak what I believe to be the truth.

"You're an excellent father. The best I've ever known. Better than your own father. Certainly better than mine."

Peeta cracks a smile. He knows well of how my father was never around. Like a male version of Katniss today. "Then why do I feel that I need _her_ to be a good father?" I know he isn't referring to Sierra. He turns back to me. "I know I should be angry at Katniss. A part of me still is. It's just that….."

I shake my head. "She's never coming back, kid. She put on a damn fine show when I tracked her down in the Capitol. I should have never believed her when she promised she'd return. We've both been played for fools. We just have to accept it and move on. Help Sierra accept it, too. Soon enough, she won't want for her mother."

That's when Peeta breaks down. "Dear God, Sierra was right! I did let her go!"

"No!" I say emphatically as I can while keeping my voice gentle. "How could you think that?"

" _I had to_!" Peeta snarls, exasperated through angry tears.

"But why?"

"Because….. I love her." He wipes his eyes with his hand. "In spite of everything, I still love Katniss. It's my own damn fault as much as it is hers, Haymitch!" He begins crying hysterically again and flings himself into my arms. All I can do is soothe him and rub his back, as any father would his son.

* * *

 **Sierra**

It seems I was the last one to know about my mother and that she left me. When I'm at school, I think about her a lot. I cry for her. I want my Mama!

It doesn't help that some big boys at school hear about my plight, and tease me about it relentlessly.

So it is one day when I am walking home from school. I don't usually walk home alone, but Daddy has some customers at the bakery and Haymitch has to help him. A big order is coming up. Soon enough, I see the big boys led by the giant, Cain, blocking my path.

"Well, if isn't the spawn of the Loony Baker and the Seam Slut! You still wondering why your slut mother left you?"

I shoulder my backpack. "Leave me alone," I mumble.

Cain and his friends laugh heartily. "Is that the best you got, scrawny? Did your Loony Daddy tell you not to pick any fights? Don't know how someone that messed up won the Hunger Games! Bet your Seam slut mom fucked him because she felt sorry for him!"

I have no idea what they're talking about. But I know what slut means. It means it's not a nice word. And even though Mommy left me, I won't let anyone call her that.

"I said, LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shove Cain's legs hard. He loses his balance and falls backward into a pool of mud.

One look at his face of rage and I run as fast as my little legs can carry me. I hear roars and shouts as Cain and his gang pursue me. I have to run through the square to get to the Merchant District where our bakery is. There's the fence separating the Merchant part of town! But it's closed; I have to climb it! I start to climb, but I'm not even halfway up when hands grab me and pull me back.

"You're not going anywhere, scrawny!" There's laughter as I leap for the fence again, but am yanked back. Next second, Cain has me by my shirt collar and is yelling in my face.

"You couldn't leave well enough alone. Could you, little twerp? Nah, you had to push it! Well, now you're gonna pay!"

He throws me to the ground and the boys laugh. Next second, I feel a sharp pain as his fist beats me over the head once. More laughter. He kicks me in the stomach. Then again. My vision becomes fuzzy and all I can hear is laughter. When my vision clears, I feel hands lift me up again at Cain's orders.

"Leave her alone, man, she's had enough!"

"Shut up, Jerry!"

"Look at her, man, she can't even stand up!"

"That don't mean shit!" says the boy holding me. Jerry turns to Cain.

"Cain, leave her alone, man. She's had enough!"

"I'll decide when she's had enough, man!"

"What is wrong with you, Cain?!"

"Don't you remember what we learned in karate class? An enemy deserves no mercy! Right?"

"Right!" the boys shout over Jerry's protests.

Unseen by the boys but seen by me, I can make out a figure climbing over the chain link fence. Cain closes in for the kill. With a rebel yell, he lunges at me, fists raised. Suddenly, his blow is stopped by the figure as he leaps over the boy holding me and lands right in the pack's midst, seizing Cain by the wrist. I stare. It's Grandpa! I have never seen his eyes so full of rage.

"Go home!" he orders. Cain struggles in Grandpa's grip.

"Get out of here, Abernathy, you old drunk! This ain't your business!"

"My granddaughter." There's a deafening CRACK and a howl of pain from my torturer. It sounds as though Grandpa broke his arm in half. "Officially my business."

I can see Cain on the ground, holding his arm. Suddenly, he yells, "Jerry! Michael! Get him!"

Two of the boys rush forward. Grandpa moves like lightning. In one instant, his arms shoot up and crash into the boy's necks, cutting off their air. They go down. A third attacks from the side. Grandpa flips him over his shoulder. A fourth tries to surprise him from behind. Grandpa seizes his raised leg and gives him three swift kicks in rapid succession: to the private parts, to his standing leg to make him go down and then right in the stomach.

As this is going on, Cain uses his good arm to retrieve something from his pocket. He aims it at Grandpa. It's a gun!

"GRANDPA! LOOK OUT!" I scream though the last boy is still holding me. Grandpa whirls and throws something. There's a BANG, then a cry of pain. Another projectile is thrown, followed by a groan.

I look. Grandpa is unharmed. The gun is skittered off to one side. One of Grandpa's knifes is in the dirt, drops of blood now dripping down onto it. I follow the trail to see Cain's mangled, bloody hand. Then I see the rest of him. He is kneeling on the ground, doubled over, a second knife in his stomach. I stare, horrified.

Grandpa spins around and sees the last of Cain's gang holding me. The boy drops me, but it doesn't stop Grandpa from cornering him like a predatory animal and pinning him to the chain link fence.

"Never touch her again! _Do you hear me?!_ You were going to hurt her, weren't you?!"

"No! No!" The boy begs for mercy.

"Liar! You were holding her! You son of a bitch!"

There's a series of crackles as Grandpa bashes the boy into the chain link fence over and over again, punching him in the face until it is covered with blood. The boy finally falls next to me, bloodied and out cold.

I feel warm, gentle hands pick me up and cradle me, just like when I was a baby. "Sierra….."

I watch as Grandpa opens the chain link fence before everything goes black.

* * *

When I wake, I am in my loft bed situated above the bakery. My wounds are all bandaged with warm cloth. I can hear Grandpa and Daddy arguing down below, and creep out of bed to investigate.

"Do you realize the Peacekeepers could come to arrest us right now, old man? The parents of these little shits could sue our asses off!"

"Better we get sued and thrown in the slammer than your daughter ending up DEAD!" Grandpa roars.

I stay in the shadows of the stairway, shrinking back when I hear the doorbell ring.

"And that's the cops," Daddy grumbles as he answers the door.

Peeking from my hiding place, I can see Peacekeepers and a crowd of parents. One woman stands out in particular, and I wonder if she is Cain's mom. She screams in my family's faces:

"MY BOY IS IN THE HOSPITAL WITH AN AMPUTATED HAND AND HAS TO HAVE STOMACH SURGERY! HE COULD DIE BECAUSE OF YOU FREAKS!"

" _Your boy was torturing my granddaughter!_ " Grandpa roars and I tremble. I have never seen him yell like this before. "So, no, I won't apologize! He deserved it! He deserved what he got!"

The mother gives a shriek like an animal and lunges for the men in my life, only to cower back when they both brandish knives in her face.

"Keep. Away from us!" Daddy snarls.

"Just like your little cunt of a wife, are you, Mellark? She was a freak just like both of you. Just because you killed in an arena and lived to tell about it doesn't mean you get to terrorize the rest of us! Being a victor doesn't make you a vigilante!"

Daddy towers to his full height so I can't see the woman anymore. But I can hear Daddy's voice loud and clear.

"Now, you listen to me. Katniss was never my wife, but she _is_ the mother of my child and I will defend her honor as such, regardless of what she has done. Second, your son is lucky to be alive and maybe it'll make him think twice before he goes around talking about things he doesn't understand! Our work here is finished. Goodnight." There is a slam as Daddy shuts the door in the crowd's faces.

* * *

 **Haymitch**

The next morning is Saturday. More subdued, the three of us continue to bake bread and pastries for the bakery and the new business week. Peeta is busy taking a cake out of the oven when the doorbell rings.

"I got it." I head for the door with Sierra hot on my heels, though she treads lightly due to her injuries. When I open the door, I almost fall over. It's as if I've seen a ghost and maybe I have. Sierra peeks from around and stares up at me, confused.

The woman before us gives me a sheepish smile. "I told you I'd come back."


	6. Chapter 6: Forgive?

**Chapter 6: Forgive?**

 **Sierra**

As soon as I lay my eyes on the woman, I know who she is. It's _her_. My mother. The first thing I realize is that she looks a lot like me. She is very beautiful. Brown hair, like mine. But grey eyes – I know I have my Daddy's blue ones. Her teeth are also a lot straighter than my own.

She looks like an angel. Especially when she glances down and sees me. Her eyes widen and she looks like she wants to cry. She kneels before me, arms outstretched.

"You must be Sierra. You're so pretty, like your Daddy." Remembering that this is the mother who left me, I frown and shrink away. Mama looks pained. "Sierra, sweetie… it's me. Your Mama."

I don't know what to say. What do you say to someone who has never been a part of your life? I decide to not say anything, turning heel and marching into the living room without a word.

"You'd better come inside," I hear Grandpa tells her gruffly. "Although you're lucky you get even that."

It isn't very long before I hear the yelling.

* * *

 **Katniss**

I am no idiot. I knew enough to know that Peeta and Haymitch wouldn't just welcome me back as if no time had passed at all. But I am ready to rejoin the family and you would think they would at least be happy about that.

Their screaming at me is proving me wrong. Well, they should know better. When it comes to arguing, I can give as good as I get.

"You lied to me!" Haymitch roars. "You said, in the Capitol, 'Yes, I will come back. Someday.'"

"Yes! _Someday_ , Haymitch! When I was ready!"

"I thought that meant in like four months! Not four more _years_!"

"Well, sucks for you – I'm here! And I am ready to be a part of my child's life! I have a right as her mother."

"No, you have _no_ right! You gave up that right when you walked out on her at two weeks old!" Peeta snaps, seething.

"I wasn't ready to take care of a child!"

"Oh, don't give me that shit, Katniss! If that were true, you should have said you didn't want her when you got pregnant!"

"You never gave me that option! You practically _begged_ me to carry her to term, and you know it!" I scream.

"She has a point there, actually, Peeta – bitchy as she is about it."

"Hey!" I snap.

"You traitor!" Peeta roars, now getting in our mentor's face. "How can you take her side? Do our five years with my daughter mean _nothing_ to you?"

"How _dare_ you lecture me, boy! These years have meant  everything to me! Who was the one who wanted Sierra to be happy so badly, I broke the damn law and snuck into the Capitol to track _this one_ down?" Haymitch points an accusing finger at me.

" _This one_ has a name, you know," I snarl.

"Not to her, you don't," Peeta says simply. "Not to Sierra. You know what we were talking about just a few weeks ago? You. And we had to look her in the eye and tell her the truth. Tell her that you _left_ her!" I have never seen him bear such rage unless he was hijacked. "But our daughter is so beautiful, that even after she sobbed over the fact that you abandoned her, she said she still wanted you here! See those bandages on her arm and head? That was from yesterday when she fought bullies for you, to defend your honor – and those little shits nearly killed her for that!"

I am quiet now, horrified as my eyes brim with tears. Sierra… defending me? After what I had done? I scan for my bow and arrows.

"Oh, don't be getting all 'Mama Bear' now out of guilt!" Peeta mocks me. "Haymitch did the dirty work and beat the shit out of all of them. Damn near killed the ringleader too!"

"Good," I snap shortly. "Now can we get back on topic? I am here and I am ready to be a part of this family!"

"You want to be a part of this family, sweetheart?" Haymitch asks.

"Yes!" I gasp in outrage.

"EARN IT!" they both spit at me. Haymitch points to the door. I know where to go. My own house in Victor's Village. I trudge sadly away. Maybe I have earned their wrath after forgetting them for half a decade.

"Mama!" I turn and Sierra flings herself at my leg. "Don't go, please! I'm sorry I was rude to you at the door. I'm sorry if I did anything to make you leave! I forgive you! I love you!"

I weep at my daughter's compassion. She has it where her father and grandfather have none to give, it seems. I tentatively wrap my arms around her.

"I'll be right next door and I'll visit." I kiss her forehead. "I promise."

* * *

 **Peeta**

It takes a few days for me to calm my rage. I take out my emotions on my canvasses, painting what I feel until I am drained of all energy. Haymitch drinks. Sierra picks up the slack on baking bread, occasionally staring with longing out the window to the house next door where her mother now dwells.

One morning, I am in the kitchen baking a pie. Haymitch and Sierra have gone into town to buy groceries. The door opens from the foyer and I head out, thinking it's them returning.

I stop short. It's Katniss. Hunting gear on, she shrugs her rucksack off her shoulder. "Hey."

"Hi," I return cautiously.

"Can I come in?" Technically, she's already let herself in, but I don't object, motioning for her to follow me. I then return to my work on the pie. She smiles at me as I concentrate.

"I've missed little things like this," she admits. "Watching you work. The smells of the bakery."

"You didn't miss it enough to not go gallivanting through the Capitol," I scoff.

"I wasn't gallivanting," she huffs. "In fact…. I've never been with anyone since the night we conceived her."

I can tell there is truth to her voice even though I feel the feat impossible. I look at her, not sure what to say. She shrugs and laughs mirthlessly. "You'd have thought that I _was_ married to you – that I was being the faithful wife."

"You didn't have to be," I tell her quietly.

Her eye bore into mine. "How else could I have felt that I hadn't excised you from my life completely? I betrayed you enough." She looks down at the floor, and I can see that she is crying.

I sigh. "Katniss, you want to really know what it was like without you here? I couldn't watch my daughter go with her mother on hunting trips. Or see her being read a story. I couldn't consult anybody on her to do her hair, or dress her. I had to be something that I felt I wouldn't have to be – a mother. And I had to choose between the two women I love more than anyone. In the end, I chose our daughter. I didn't really have a choice. I had to learn how to be both parents at once, and rope poor Haymitch into it. Not that it hasn't helped him – it has. He's a lot more sober now. I had all of that thrown down on me when you walked out that door….. and I want you to know that, I forgive you."

Katniss stares at me, open-mouthed. Then, suddenly, she launches herself at me, throws her arms around me and kisses me right on the lips. It takes me a bit to get over the shock, but I relax into it, taking hold of her possessively. She kisses me with tongue, peppers my face with them before we finally break apart, her eyes shining.

"Peeta, I….. thank you! I want to make it up to you. I'll…. I'll do whatever it takes!"

I smile at her teasingly. "Now, Katniss Everdeen, how could you possibly make it up to me?" I am being flirtatious, I know, and assume she'll offer to make love to me. And I do. I desperately want to fuck her. But it's what she says next that catches me off guard.

"I could marry you." I stare at her, stunned. She just smiles softly, almost sadly. "I was a fool. I thought I didn't love you. I was wrong. I do love you – and our daughter. And I want us to be a family in all including name. Will you marry me, Peeta Mellark?"

I just smile at her and hold out my hand. Taking it, she allows me to guide her towards the stairs…..

* * *

 **Haymitch**

I struggle to hold most of the bags as Sierra opens the door for me. "Hello, hello, hello?" I call.

"OH, PEETA!"

I stop dead. That doesn't sound good. In fact, that sounds like….. sex?

Sweet Jesus.

Sierra looks to me with a frown on her face. "Why's Mommy here, Grandpa? What's she doing with Daddy?"

Panicking, I practically throw the groceries onto the kitchen island and cover my little girl's ears with my hands.

"Your Mommy and Daddy are doing something really important, sweetie. They're having some fun. It's…. it's like a game! A really fun game except the point is never to be found. Ever."

Sierra brightens. "Can I play?"

"NO!" I practically yell. "This game is for adults. You can't play until you're older." _And if I have my way, you won't play until you are old and crotchety_ , I think. "Why don't we give your parents some alone time and you and I can go feed the geese?"

"OK, Grandpa." And Sierra lets me guide her out the door, her ears still covered so she can't hear her mother's wails and her father's grunts.


	7. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

 **Sierra**

It was not long before Mama and Daddy came to me and asked me if I would like for Mama to live with us in our house. Always. I said yes immediately. Finally, I could tell all my friends that I did have a mommy and a daddy.

To make it official, my mama wore a beautiful white dress to the Justice Building. Daddy and Grandpa wore suits. I was the Flower Girl. Mama and Daddy signed papers at the Justice Building. Then, we had a party at our house that ended in a big toasting for my parents. They got married!

As I grow older, my parents and Grandpa tell me about the Hunger Games. For the first time, I understand about how Grandpa managed to save me from those bullies the night before Mama returned. He had used what Daddy calls his 'arena instincts.' It's hard to believe my sweet family going into an arena to kill other people. Mama tells me it was all worth it, because it meant that I got to grow up safe and free. And we all got to be together!

Mama still feels guilty for leaving me for those five years. But I forgave her long ago. She is the best mother. She braids my hair. She gives me advice on boys (but only when Daddy and Grandpa are out of the house). She sings to me when I am sad or sleepy. She is there for me to make up for when she was not – and more.

In the end, I wouldn't change my family for anything – the good, the bad and the ugly. Every family has that, right? Right.

* * *

 **Peeta**

I am asleep at my easel when I feel Katniss shake me awake. Helping me up, she guides me to our room and what is now our bed. I collapse into it as Katniss cuddles beside me, holding me close as she strokes my hair.

"Stay with me," I plead, afraid she will leave me alone all over again.

"Ssssssh. I'm not going anywhere. Not this time." She continues to hold me as she begins to sing:

 _We are home, we are where we shall be forever._

 _Trust in me, for you know I won't run away_

 _From today_

 _This is all that I need and all that I need to say is…._

 _Don't you see how you've changed me?_

 _Strange how I finally see_

 _I found home_ , _You're my home_

 _Stay with me….._

My eyes grow heavy as I am pulled into sleep. I can only managed one word. A promise.

"Always."


End file.
